I am often asked this question. And the answer is no. Although I used to say yes!
The two year break during the pandemic taught me a thing or two! The most important learning was how to reflect hard on what makes me the celebrant that people seek out? I used to equate busy-ness with popularity and success. It took me a long time to realise how much being a celebrant drains the emotions. And that doing it the way I want to do it – and choose to do it – means that if I do a ceremony or two every week-end, month in, month out then I get very tired.
It might not be tiring if I didn’t care about what I do. But I do care. It might not be emotionally draining if I don’t put much of myself into the process. But that’s my USP. When you choose me, you get me.
My website is a statement of truth and couples and families often remark “Oh. You’re just like you are on your website!” Yes – I am!! I am not pretending, or crafting words to make myself into what I am not. Just to get a booking.
I want you to feel comfortable with me, and to trust me. I need some head-space so I can get your vibe, work out who you are, what is unique and lovely about you. Then I write about it.
So yes. I do work hard. And yes I have a life outside being a celebrant (see photos below). However I do not conduct ceremonies every week end. It takes about 35 hours to do all the preparation for a ceremony – getting to know you, researching stuff, speaking with your family and friends, suggesting readings, coaching you if you are writing your own vows, suggesting symbolic elements that might suit your ceremony. And that’s before I deliver it! So 35 hours per ceremony is about 35 weeks out of the year. As someone who chose to ‘retire from the day job’ in order to be a celebrant, 35 weeks out of my year is quite sufficient.
The moral of this tale is that we all need space to breathe and remember who we are. Working every week turns us into machines unless we choose something different.
So what do I do in my ‘spare time’? I have an allotment. I am around a lot for my grandsons (aged nearly 12 and nearly 9). My man and I go off on adventures in our campervan and caravan (I never saw that one coming!) and we potter around the rivers of South Norfolk and Suffolk in a Canadian canoe. We cook outside a lot on a firepit. I love my library and home and I read a lot. I love Spain. I love Venice. I love the unknown. I love cooking for lots of people. I love my dog. I stare into space (and at this screen) a lot. I love live music (going to see The Killers tomorrow night). I love laughing, living and loving.
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