Uncle Tom was doubtful about a Humanist ceremony as he was a ‘church’ person. Which is understandable given church, structure and family were deeply ingrained in his DNA. What a charming man he was, full of wisdom and twinkly-eyed mischief. I asked him to give me marks out of 10 and I would check in with him after the ceremony.  Which I did.  

“So how was it Tom, did I do it ok for them?”  “You were bloody marvellous” he said. “It’s still not church but it was all about them and it was dignified”.

That was good enough for me. If Uncle Tom was happy, so was I.    The couple’s choices don’t always fit with their family’s preferences but there is usually a way to make it authentic with a little touch of magic.